Is being authentic means you have to be distinctly different than everyone else?
‘You only need to be yourself’
Sadly we live in a world where individuality is loved and envied upon, but the notion of ‘becoming oneself’ is too risky and scary and lonely that many would rather live hiding behind normality . However, is the opposite really much simpler and easy ? Here are some of my points of view of why inauthentic people live a stressful life:
1. They believe it is much easier to be someone else
It is really easy to pretend to be that person whom everyone requires you to be. Unfortunately there are so many different people in your live that needs different expectations to be fulfilled.
Every day you wear different hats that suits the moment, which in the end exhaust whatever energy you have left to be yourself. In the long run, you might end up losing your self-purpose as all the ‘acting’ starts to become real.
One question to ponder: Do you really know what people around you wants you to be?
2. They love fulfilling everyone else’s dream
This is a noble act of course. You care for everyone around you and you want to anchor them to success at all times, even if it means to sacrifice what you truly belief in.
You keep putting everyone before you, hoping for some sort of appreciation and validation from them some day. You feel selfish when you put yourself first, you feel guilty when you occasionally say ‘NO’.
One question to ponder: Can you truly make others happy, when you are not?
3. They don’t think they are special
“Well, am I really that special? I am just one of many, I wake up, eat, work, sleep, occasionally I dance … It is not that important for me to look into this now. everything is all right”;
The fear of being oneself is scary. Imagine, once you live your authentic self, you can never hide behind those curtains anymore. As our brain tries to protect us and keep us small and away from harm, it also over-exaggerates circumstances and stumps us from becoming our own self.
Two questions to ponder: Who was your childhood hero/role model? What was the one act that made this person so special and memorable?
4. They have too many unresolved issues
When you stop confronting small issues that occurs in life, they obviously get accumulated in some part of your body. It could be in the form of memories, or feelings. Unfortunately they are just waiting to come up when it’s being triggered. The coping mechanism here is by creating diversions, lies and ignorance.
One question to ponder: What lies do you tell yourself, for not being honest?
